Resilient individual – what comes to mind?
This is a question that I’ve posed to hundreds of the participants who’ve attended my workshops on resilience over the past decade. There are always themes that emerge when people consider this question:
- Calm
- See the bigger picture
- Keep going forwards and remain optimistic
- Focus on what they can control
- Flexible and adaptable
- Draw from previous experience to address current issue
- Are both approachable and draw on support around them
- Listen and communicate well
- Are realistic and don’t see things through rose tinted glasses
I’m struck by the fact that these aren’t ‘super-human’ qualities, they are accessible to all of us and they really do make a difference. Research backs the insights that participants share during LiveWorkWell workshops. As indicated by work recognised by research done by Kandi Wiens HBR April 2024 as well as the seminal work done by Diane Coutu HBR 2002
Kandi Wiens outlines some useful suggestions on what you can do:
- Developing a positive, optimistic outlook:
Acknowledging that this is a temporary state and things will get better.
Taking a pessimistic view is far more likely to result in you blaming yourself and others and can spiral into catastrophising thoughts which are not helpful. Notice and savour what is good in your life. The work done by Barbara Fredrickson demonstrates how effective it is to build the habit of noticing and savouring what is good in this moment.
- Take a problem-solving approach to stress and challenge:
Developing a Growth Mindset is a wonderful way of engaging with threats – whilst not welcoming them – this enables you to feel less threatened and therefore able to engage more effectively. What am I learning from this process?
- Focus on what you can control:
Staying focussed on what you can’t control leads to feelings of helplessness and compounds the stress. By acknowledging what is within your control allows the ability to improve and change in these areas. Identify a realistic intention each day.
- Remain flexible and adaptable
Recognise that change is one of the few guarantees in life, if we can welcome it in rather than bracing, we engage more skilfully. Negative emotions such as anger, shame and blame narrow our focus compared to the more expansive, flexible thinking of openness and curiousity which allows for a wide range of possibilities.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us” – Alexander Graham Bell
- Invest in strong relationships and social connections
People who have strong relationships can draw upon the support of those around them. Both oxytocin which is the natural hormone released during social connections as well as the sense of belonging felt through strong relationships are protective factors during stressful times.
This doesn’t mean you need a big network, just one or two people you trust and can turn to can make all the difference.
Knowing what to draw upon during these stressful times can make the difference between feeling isolated and vulnerable or supported and empowered.
References for Blog 2 Resilient Individual
https://hbr.org/2024/04/5-characteristics-of-stress-resilient-people-and-how-to-develop-them